I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
