just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
