Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
