If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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