How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
