Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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