his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
