I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
