YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
