At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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