I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
