bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
