His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How does one acquire holy water?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
