we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
