Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
