am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
