dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
