just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
