At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
