so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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