Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
