i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
