So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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