the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
