By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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