I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
