So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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