You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
