where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
