you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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