just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
