he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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