I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
