I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
