You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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