I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
