I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
