oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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