So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
it's like iHOP with fire
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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