she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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