can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
