Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
