Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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