Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize