How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
