He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
They took my balls.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
