I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
