i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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