dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I understand Curling. That high.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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