she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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