Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
