Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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